PW: Seven Minutes in Bliss
by OddballPunk
Summary: Mira decides to give Fate a helping shove off a cliff to corner Natsu and Lucy. Be wary of wild stalking Miras.


DISCLAIMER: I'm only responsible for my own stupidity.

A/N: A homicidal brain-worm moved in and my sanity checked out; thus these self-contained delusions into stupidity came about. Welcome to the Prank Wars! Where our favorite guild of destructive goofballs declare war on each other, and the weapon of choice is the prank.

PW: Seven Minutes in Bliss

Perpetrator: Mirajane

Victim(s): Natsu and Lucy

Objective: Mira decides to give Fate a helping shove off a cliff to corner Natsu and Lucy. Be wary of wild stalking Miras.

Mira swiped at the same glass with a dirty bar-rag for the sixteenth time that morning as she eyed the guild's main entrance for the blond-haired victim…er…friend (!) yeah her good friend Lucy. She had already cornered and caged the fire nitwit in the kitchen's walk-in cooler. Her blue eyes flick back to the kitchen's holey walls that Jet and Droy, whose help she garnered after an infamous Mira stare down, were hurriedly fixing. Levi clears her throat and watches her desperate teammates but doesn't dare speak sensing the hunting mood that Mira was currently sporting.

The glass clinks on the bar top as Mira tosses the rag at the sink. Chewing the inside of her cheek she is seriously considering going back into the cooler to give Natsu another strong incentive-read whack-to the head to keep him agreeable and contained because it had been almost twenty minutes since the kitchen fiasco to contain him, and Lucy was still MIA. Mira growls and fists her hand just as a flash of blond and boob catches her eye.

Lucy, escorted by a Happy perched on top of her head, has finally shown up. Mira's smile could split Seigren's face in half before ripping out his throat. As Lucy makes her way over to the bar, clueless to the trap waiting for her, Mira reaches under the bar to pull out a cake-one of those death-by-chocolate numbers, something she knew Lucy would not resist.

"Happy birthday, Lucy!" Mira giggles trying to garner everyone's attention.

Lucy jumps a bit but smiles at Mira. Red touches her cheeks as she nods at the whoops and cat-calls that head her way. "Thank you, Mira-san. But it's really not-"

"Gajeel-sweetie, would you sing Lucy-chan a birthday song?" Mira's voice screams up to the iron dragon slayer who had been picking at his beat-up guitar.

An iron-studded brow quirks at the blond girl then red eyes flash with inspiration.

"So bunny-girl turns 60 today?" His smile is sharpened by the explosion of flames about Lucy's head as she stammers angrily something about rusty dragons and dead brain cells. Gajeel begins to strum a song and layout the words in his deep growling baritone.

Lucy's head hits the bar top as Mira pats it, playing the concerned friend part very well. "Not your birthday today, huh?"

One brown eye peaks up at Mira. "No, Mira-san. But thank you for the thought." Lucy gives her best game winning smile as the guild members begin to chuck things at Gajeel who dodges everything easily.

"Why don't we have the cake anyway?"

Lucy considers the cake before her. "Are you sure I can't just throw that at Gajeel?"

Mira turns away to cough to cover her laugh. "Ah, no. How about some ice cream instead?" She reaches below the bar and comes back up rather quickly, pulling a concerned face. "Oh no. The ice cream is all gone."

As if on cue, Lucy hops off her stool and goes around the back to the kitchen which is now void of Jet, Droy, and any holes from the earlier Natsu smack-down. Lucy notices a new paint smell but thinks nothing of it. After all the guild was known for needing new walls at least once a week.

Mira follows closely behind Lucy, waiting for her moment to strike. As Lucy opens the dark cooler, Mira shoves the blond inside and slams the door shut. A lock snaps into place rather loudly in the silent kitchen. Mira chuckles and tapes a sign to the small window of the cooler that says: "You can come out after you've kissed and cuddled." For good measure, Mira activates the runes she had asked Fried to inscribe on the cooling unit.

**2 Hours Later**

Mira is giggling and humming happily to herself. Most of the other guild members were staying as far away from the bar as humanly possible while still remaining inside the guild hall. A few of the more cowardly-read smarter-members had made their excuses and high-tailed it out of there.

The small set of runes next to Mira glowed a happy pink color indicating that while Natsu and Lucy were still in the cooler, they were doing a wonderful job of keeping each other warm.

"Hey Mira! A fire whiskey over here." Natsu taps the bar top where he had placed a few jewels.

"Fish! Fish! Fish!" Happy's tail waves in excitement.

Mira stares blankly at the fire dragon slayer and his Exceed companion. It takes several minutes of them staring at each other before Natsu's lifted brow has Mira slamming down the tankard she had been cleaning and rushing back to the kitchen cooler where she promptly yanks the door open. What she finds turns her hair even whiter and traumatizes her for the rest of her life.

Lucy blushes and snuggles in closer to the broad chest that had been keeping her warm. Elfmann looks up at his big sister with a global warming smile.

"Guess what, big sis. Lucy finally said yes."

ASIDE: I'd apologize for the nightmares but meh it wouldn't be as fun, now would it?


End file.
